Learning to Braid

In elementary school, my mother forbid me to wear my hair down; she was certifiably lice-phobic. Instead of showing off poufie-bangs and 80's-perfect teased hair like Kristielynn Barr (the girl I wanted to be in elementary), I would sport the Laura Ingalls Wilder look and head to the bus stop. Man, them braids hurt! My mother was making sure no hair was left behind! And while I didn't appreciate the free facelift at age 8, I was pretty happy that my head remained lice-free.

I remember learning to braid my Cabbage Patch doll's hair and then my Barbies' hair and then my friends' hair.  This image of a braid is a powerful help to me as a grown-up.

Emma Simpson/Unsplash.com

In a conversation with a friend about work-life balance (which doesn't actually exist) she shared this wisdom with me.   In order to excel as a daughter, wife, parent, working girl, and a church and community member, I can't view life as a see-saw between two or more competing priorities. She shared that in reality, the best we can do is to triage our priorities, meaning that we need to face whatever is pressing at the moment while not letting our other responsibilities slip through our fingers like the other pieces of the braid.

When you're braiding, you take a section of hair and separate into three sections. As you weave them together one section of hair must be on top, while the others wait in the wings.   This object lesson has been so useful as I think about the day to day, year to year of my life.  While something is "on top" I have to fully attend to it, while not letting go of the other priorities in my life. This is all that is be expected of me; it is ALL I should expect of myself.

Of course, I don't.  I strongly encourage myself to simultaneously braid all 3 pieces of hair. "I have to be at church in order to grow in my faith, offer support to people and to contribute.  I need to spend more time with friends- don't want to become isolated! I've visited with these people but not those-don't want them to feel left out!  I want to make a healthy, local, meal but I ought to do it quickly for I've spent too much time in the kitchen and not enough time playing.  Wait, playing? Shouldn't I be doing the laundry? Doing the laundry, you say? Why, it's a lovely day outside, you can't keep your son indoors on a day like today!  Take him out somewhere new, expand his horizons, but keep it simple silly-you don't have to spend a lot of money to teach your kids, that's just giving in to marketing!"

ENTER THE "BRAID".

All I can do is to prioritize the person, project or priority in front of me.  I can let my "Yes be Yes" and my "No be No". See-we are allowed to say both!

Remember a braid is only a braid when it is sectioned out and dealt with a little at a time.  Without triage,  you have an unkempt clump of hair.  It is okay to say NO, it is okay to pace yourself, it is okay to have a stopping point at the end of your day to decompress.  I am learning to take that moment, undo my braid and rest.